Emerging

No one died, I didn’t move, or change jobs, yet I am emerging from a period of high stress. We have beautiful weather in my part of the country. This must be like winter in Italy. Perfect temperature to dress up in layers, and look great, but no snow. The flip side has been persistent illness. Colds and coughs, pneumonia, and in my house scarlet fever. Who gets that?! Then my good husband was even less available, all his time bought by a higher bidder than me. At the same time our kids’ needs were suddenly changing. My 2 year old became a little girl who decided one day she was done with diapers. My five year old is wanting to control everyone and everything. Lego breaks, and he’s also falling apart. There are moments when everyone is throwing a tantrum. Did I mention sleep. While the children where growing and changing and getting sick, and needing the doctor on a weekly basis, I wasn’t getting any sleep. I was breaking down and not even realizing. My period just quit. I went back to my reproductive specialist. Blood tests and an ultrasound revealed  that my uterus and ovaries did nothing for the last 40 days. They were the only part of my body taking a break. I am taking provera now for the next 7 to ten days. The doctor says I shouldn’t even expect a period, because no lining grew in my uterus, so there is nothing to shed.

The good news is that finally, after some pleading, scolding and standing up for myself and how I want my husband to treat me, and family time, he came home to do bedtime. He has been able to get the children to sleep in their own beds…all night long. I have had three glorious nights of undisturbed sleep. I feel like a new woman. I am feeling ready again to purse my ideas and do something…honestly just do something that I haven’t done before. Time to get butterflies.